Engaged AF.

Weeell .. I DID say that I wasn’t sure how often I would be updating this … I will admit that the days have gotten away from me since my last post! SOOOO much has happened since October!! I don’t even know where to begin….

Who am I kidding? Of course I know where! LOL – On 11.16.17 the boyfriend and I got engaggeeeeddd! So I guess he’s my fiance now .. weird .. and I’m still not calling him by his first name. LOL Here’s how it happened…

We had plans (or so I thought) to meet up with his cousins for a dinner. We had my SD that day/night so she was going to have a sleep over at her GM. The plan was to meet at 7. I quickly got home from work at my part time job which is basically another full time job during that time of year, and got ready in record time. 7 O’clock came and went .. so I texted him around 7:15 asking what was up or what his ETA to the house was. He told me that he had to do a “quick job” and was at his office. This made total sense since “quick job” and his name .. never go in the same sentence together .. LOL. A few seconds later I get another text from him saying that his truck wont start and asked if I could come pick him up .. surprisingly I wasn’t annoyed and agreed to go get him .. haha… looking back now I’m SO GLAD I wasn’t pissy… HA!

So I get to his office, walk in the door and there is the SD in her New Years Eve dress I bought for her. I fully admit to looking for one that would fit me .. and by damned I found one.. more on the later. She’s standing in the one opening of the meeting room  with flowers. I walk over and give her a hug and tell her she looks so pretty. She hands me the flowers and tells me to turn around.  So I do, and there he is, on one knee. OBVIOUSLY I squeal and make other noises I have yet to duplicate LOL. I set my stuff down on the one table and the SD walks over beside him, puts her hand on his shoulder and says … “Will you marry us??” .. and the water works began! Apparently I didn’t realize it, but I didn’t give an answer at first. Can you blame me?! I was bawling! .. So the SD says … “SSOOOOO is  that a yes or what?!”… We’re all hugging, the BF is teary eyed .. the SD is confused as to why I can’t talk and here I am snort crying all over the place. I finally muster up a, “Yes of course!” and he puts the ring on my finger.

Ten minutes or so pass until I can form a complete sentence and I finally say about my makeup being everywhere and going to dinner.. he tells me.. “There’s no dinner! That was just a cover story!” … I was a little upset I wasn’t going to get my butternut squash soup.. but I let is slide hahahah.. ;-P

After that we called my mom and dad, visiting my part time job to tell my work family there, called his mom and dad and also called his business partner.

I couldn’t have asked for a better way to be proposed to! And in my eyes, the most important part is that the SD is beyond excited that I am her Stepmom, is excited to have a brother or sister someday, and has given us her 6 year old blessing. The bond her and I have I am truly blessed for and I pray to God I stands the tests of time and a high conflict BM.

I resurrected my pinterest board and have been slowly gathering ideas to put together. We set the date to 2019, as this year we need to focus on buying a new house for the new family! Luckily, we have the venue picked and we have some good ideas as to who we want for DJ and Photographer. Currently i’m enjoying visiting bridal shows around the area!

The holidays were an absolute blur filled with stress, migraines and also some good times. I work crazy hours from November until Dec 24 so that gave me some extra cash to get bills down and buy gifts for people, but also added stress because I was working 14 hour days.  Thanksgiving was our holiday with the SD, and had to pause Christmas for a few days to wait for her since Christmas was the BM holiday this year. It was fun watching her open up her presents as we saved the best one for last! She got a swim-able mermaid tail! WHERE.WERE.THESE.WHEN.I.WAS.LITTLE!!!! haha It’s one of the coolest kids toy’s I’ve ever seen! Now she can’t wait for summer in my parents pool and won’t stop talking about this damn thing. LOL.

New Years Eve/New  Years was our holiday. I was hell bent on finding a dress that was similar to the one I bought for the SD. Damned if I didn’t fine one almost identical! I was so excited and so was she! We had a fancy NYE Dance party at his parents which was a ton of fun! We even had a photo area! I created one of those custom snapchat filters that displayed our names. All in all it was a ton of fun! New Years day however, I was riddled with a massive migraine that was so bad – I laid down for 2 hours.

We’ve finally gotten back to the normal (organized crazy) schedule. We signed up at a new gym and now that I finally have time to go, we’ve been going after work. We’ve also started healthy/keto eating. The SD has started her pre-competitive swimming again, with her first swim meet on the 19th!

Excited to see what these next couple months bring!

Gah! Second post!

I’m not quite sure how frequent I will be posting but I suppose thats the beauty of blogs. You can post whenever you damn well please. Let’s recap on a few things…
This weekend the BF finally put myself and his business partners fiance on the costco membership! We were so excited! Adulting is stupid. LOLOL. We’re just glad that now if we need something from there, we can just go – we don’t have to wait until they’re off work or availble to go. Plus their hot dogs and pizza aren’t too shabby 😉 So what did I do? I bought 500 spoons for work. I will never need another spoon in my life. hahaha.

I’ve also been nursing a pulled hammy from my slow pitch games on Saturday. I don’t know why I thought it would be a good idea to play 3 games in one day! I’m clearly not 18 anymore!

This past week I’ve been kicking ass at work. Not really, but I have been taking a more vocal initiative and sharing my ideas. I believe the right people have noticed. I’m finally starting to feel my voice being heard.

Other than that its just really the same ol’ shit. Oh! I lied! I harvested a TON of tomatoes from our garden and made a sauce with them! We’re going to have that tonight for dinner after the SD gets home from CCD.

The BF has been doing work outside of the house with his rents and its starting to look great! We finally picked a color to paint most of the rooms of the house! I’ve decided that this Friday, Saturday, and Sunday are our paint days sooooo no body bother us!! J.K. 🙂 but fair warning ya’ll .. we’re painting! My goal is to get the living room, stairs, and SD room painted. I want to paint the bathroom but I’m going to use a different color for that. I’m 1000% ready to do this and do whatever else I need to do to get this house ready to sell ASAP. It’s a cute little house, but if we want to grow a family, which we absolutely want to do (despite the nay-sayers), it’s just flat out too small. Soooo if anyone is looking for a starter home, hit me up! 😉
I’m a little frustrated however because I’ve heard from multiple people, “Does she realize the amount of work and effort its going to take to get this place ready to sell!?” …Uhm .. Do I know first hand? No because I’ve never had to do this, however the SIMPLE FACT that I am willing to do whatever it takes to help get the house ready so we can MOVE ON with our lives should be enough for people, but for some it doesnt seem that way. The sheer fact that this is the house the the BF and Ex-Wife lived for over a decade is litterally ALL the motivation I need. Which brings me to my next point….
The BF and I are at the point in our lives and our relationship that if anyone isn’t supportive of us.. we don’t need to be around them. Period. The reality we are facing is that we have a short window to make up for a large amount of time. We know what its like to claw and pull eachother out of extremely toxic places as friends; and when he and I first decided to give this a shot to see where it would go, neither one of us were in a good place. We know what it’s like to have our names drug through every type of social media mud out there with inaccurate information and SAY NOTHING. Add on top of that my favorite person in the world passing away when all of this was beginning to shake down – it’s a receipe for disaster. No one will EVER know or understand the head space I was in.. except for him. Because he was there … and vice versa. We were both dealing with personal shit but as I said before, some how managed to pull eachother from the wreckage that was our lives and build something much stronger than either of us encountered before. We’re soulmates and puzzle pieces. We have worked so hard to get where we are now, and the battle isn’t over – but i’ll be damned if ANYONE ruins that for us or tries to delay us. So now you all know why I have no tolerance for any negativity. If you intended to bring anything other than positive support and vibes to our table – you can go sit somewhere else.

“Being negative only makes a difficult journey more difficult. You may be given a cactus, but you don’t have to sit on it.”

Introductions, opinions, and awkward transitions

Well, I suppose first thing’s first — Let’s get this introductory crap out of the way. I’m a step mom to a wonderful, sassy, and extremely smart 6 year old girl! She is the daughter of my boyfriend, and hopefully husband some day (let’s go dude 😉 ). I work in an IT department by day, and by night I’m whatever the little one needs me to be. Some days I’m mommy, some days I’m her human jungle gym, and then others she’d rather talk to anyone else but me! 🙂

Overall, we have a fantastic relationship and I believe it’s partially because I came into her life when she was 3 as a friend, and then stepped into the role of “Step Mom” when she was 4. I’m not going to touch on why her parents didn’t work out because to be honest – there’s no nice, or professional or even remotely civil way to telling the story.  So moving on….

Oh and just an FYI – if you’re one of those tightwads who get offended by someone who occasionally swears, you should probably hit the X button in the upper right hand corner of your screen. Lemme know if you need help.. I’m in IT 😉

Custody Schedule:

What’s the custody schedule? We get this question a lot and it’s usually followed by: “It looks like you guys have her all the time!”  Well, we don’t have her all the time – we don’t even have her HALF the time. We have her every Wednesday, every other Thursday opposite of every other Weekend. Sounds confusing but it’s really not. What it’s also NOT is 50/50. BM refuses to allow 50/50 for reasons that are far too obvious.


I decided to start this blog to have an outlet – to be able to share every day struggles that I experience and to reach out to other step moms to let them know they’re not alone. It’s a tough line we have to teeter back and forth and some days it truly is a struggle. You say or do too much and right away there’s the “She’s over stepping her boundaries” – then you back off and right away it’s “She’s not doing enough – she doesn’t care about the child”. It’s all bullshit and WAYYY too easy to use as an excuse to complain.

I’d like to make it known, loud and clear though that this is NOT going to be a spot where I bash the BM. Thats not what this is for. Will I share frustrations? Possibly. Will I advocate however for Fathers Rights? ABSOLUTELY. I belong to a few of those groups on Facebook and the stories that I have read so far are heartbreaking and similar. My BF is a fantastic father and deserves to be treated equally the eyes of the court. Unfortunately, that isn’t the case. That’s a blog for another time though – Grey’s Anatomy is on so I’m out! Till next time!!

“Sometimes I’m the mess, Sometimes I’m the broom – and on the hardest days I have to be both.”